I actually planned a whole trip through Cambodia, Laos, and Vietnam, but with the stress I was going through in Australia it was a lot for me to handle mentally, and didn’t seem worth it to get e-visas for all 3 countries and only be there for a few days vs a whole month per country. Since the Philippines doesn’t require a visa and I happened to find a cheap roundtrip flight (I usually book one-ways but I had responsibilities in AU to come back to…) I felt like it was meant to be this time.

Originally, my plan was to just get a taste of Manila and stay with a friend there and then return after a week to take care of some things in AU. The price for staying with my friend was to let him tickle me since he has a tickle fetish, which is probably one of the strangest things I was willing to do for a place to stay, but he was unresponsive when it came time for me to arrive. Due to his lack of response and thinking he ghosted me, I said fuck it! and booked a whole trip to Palawan- because at this point I had been rotting in the Australian winter for a few months now and really needed some HEAT and nature.

Many of my friends predicted that I’ll get kidnapped in the Philippines if I go alone, honestly I agreed and predicted that too. but this time, I did the kidnapping instead! (Safely and I took the person home safely afterwards)

Day 1 of me arriving at my resort (due to wanting to keep the Philippines as untouched and beautiful, I will be gatekeeping all secluded spots and locations that I don’t want to be overrun by tourists), I park and grab my bags to check in. It was a bit late since getting my rental car took some time, and it was already getting dark. I heard someone (a store or place?) blasting music and I thought, Ahh love these party on the beach vibes.

As I get out of the car and start looking for my resort, a local comes up to me inviting me over to chill as he was having a get together with friends and having some drinks. I thought, hell yeah this is awesome, starting the night off with a beach party! So I told him I wanted to check in to my resort first, get dinner since the kitchen closes in 30 minutes and I’m starving, and I’ll come over later.

In the Philippines food is mostly made to order especially in rural places. So I was waiting for my food and realised I lost some things from my purse. One being my expensive travel hotspot which I was planning to use that night. I was so upset, I ordered two shots of Tanduay (rum). Something to note- a local I met on my way back to AU told me that if you throw Tanduay on a wall, it melts the paint. Imagine what that does to your body. I will admit it was strong and hit me hard and fast, and it is very cheap. But at the cost of your health, the local also told me that people have died and gotten cancer from drinking Tanduay and highly recommends drinking literally anything other than Tanduay. Alcohol is so cheap and for a little more, you can drink a less abrasive alcohol. Anyway back to the story- I get sloshed pretty quickly, eat my dinner, and then start heading to that guy’s house to his kickback with friends.

On the way, well more like two steps out of the resort restaurant, two Aussies stop me and offer to buy me some drinks. Normally I just say no and move on with my life but I thought hey, I’ll get a couple drinks and get a little more drunk since I’m so upset and then go party with that other guy. easy.

5 bottles of wine later I end up chatting with them the whole night. One of them was dating a girl from Manila, who I ended up going skinny dipping with. There was pretty much no chance of me going to that guys house anymore. I know where he lives, he knows where I’m staying, I’ll probably run into him on the beach tomorrow, I’ll apologise tomorrow.

After the Aussies I met go back to their rooms, I decide to at least try to go apologise to that guy for never coming to his party. I soon realise that it’s pitch black and no music, he’s probably asleep. So I turn around and start heading back to my resort. I turn my flashlight on since it’s pitch black and I’m walking through the water, and the resort security guard approaches me.

Not to lightly brush over a very serious topic but uhh…the gist is the security guard lowkey (HIGHKEY) took advantage of me being completely wasted by myself, but for some reason I was kind of okay with it ??!!?!?! In hindsight, this was totally fucked up and should not happen. For some reason, I am not too bothered by it and drunk-cass was sort of accepting of it. So the security guard came up to me and started making out with me (?!) and I think he asked permission and I think I said yes (I don’t fucking know lmao, I was way drunk LMAO) and then he got me another drink (TANDUAY) and I offered him some because I felt weird being super drunk and letting some security guard make out with me and then fuck me on the beach and then he says “I’m not allowed to drink while working.” OK but you’re allowed to fuck the guests?!!!! LOLOL. Keep in mind the night has not ended yet I have literally just arrived…

No I don’t really remember what he looked like, but I do remember that happening. For reference, I do not usually just casually let everyone fuck me I’m usually very safe and coherent, and usually if something like this happens I get traumatised and go insane. For some reason I found this specific occurrence really funny and amusing and a great story and I’m okay with it. Strangely. Will not let this happen again though lol.

Anyway so the night ends with him going with me back to my room (you know what happens). I’m literally just laughing at what an insane night it has been and I literally just arrived. I get invited to a party, never make it there, old bald aussie men hit on me trying to bang me, I skinny dip with one of their girlfriend, I fuck the security guard wondering what in the fuck is happening right now, what a night!

So my itinerary goes as follows: (due to non refundable no cancellation or changes flights)

Day 1- Fly to Manila, arrive early morning, spend 1 night in Manila

Day 2- Fly to Palawan, spend 1 day in Puerto Princessa

Day 3- Take a van (too last minute to get a rental car with different drop off point) to El Nido

Day 4- Drive down to San Vicente (this is not the most logical way to plan a trip okay this is just how it turned out for me due to last minute decisions)

Day 5- Drive back to El Nido

Day 6- Fly back to Manila (honestly, I booked he flight on the wrong day. I was supposed to spend one more night in El Nido then fly out the next day)

Day 7- Spend 1 last night in Manila

Day 8- Fly back to Australia.

And boy did I have an adventure in the Philippines, one of my favourite trips for sure.

I’ll start off with the adventure and if you want to read about the other days, I’ll write all about it after.

Day 2,

I wake up a bit hungover, questioning what in the fuck just happened, and happy that it’s not raining and I run to the ocean for a swim. After my peaceful swim in the tidepools thinking damn I just had sex here last night, I was like well I should probably go to that guys house and apologise for never arriving.

We meet on the beach and I immediately start apologising. He’s a chill hippie and was understanding to it, which gave me peace. We chat while walking along the beach, and he takes me to a secret hidden beach cove. (no, i do not fuck him too)

In our chat I explain to him that I actually have to check out that day because I only booked one night. He gives me a free surf lesson and offers his place to stay as he has many hammocks for his surfer friends sleep there waiting for surf all the time. He seemed safe and even let other people stay with him for free for weeks and genuinely doesn’t mind.

Before my surf lesson, I grab lunch at the restaurant and do a late check out (since I arrived late the prior night they were okay with it). I tell the hippie of my plans to drive down to San Vicente and sleep in a tent on the beach, and then he asks,

“Can I come?”

“Yeah sure! Why not?”

And so he packs his bag, his own tent, some camping gear, and joins me for a 3 hour drive roadtrip. I kinda kidnapped him lol!

We really got to know each other and chatted a lot during the drive since I often didn’t have reception to play music. It was such a fun time!

When we got there, he actually knew the hosts of my tent Airbnb already, and asked if he could set up his tent there too.

We jumped in the ocean in the night and watched the local kids of the village play outside happily with no iPads. Just genuine vibes and playfulness, it was very endearing and cute. They even spoke to me in English and asked me simple questions like my name and how old I am.

After dinner, I was so tired from driving I went to sleep in my tent. It rained that night, I woke up multiple times. By morning, I woke up to rainbow right in front of my tent. It was magnificent!

I checked out at 11am, but woke up much before then. The fellow hippie and I walked to the village to buy some fresh fruit for brekkie. They only had bananas and plantains, so we bought a bunch of those and then he whips out a camping stove and starts frying me some plantains. Then he makes lemon ginger tea. It was a super cool experience to have a local island guy just cooking me a super natural brekkie on the beach! We shared our brekkie with the village kids.

We walked down the beach to explore and helped the locals (beach clean up crew?) pick up all the waste that flowed from the ocean and storm last night. When we finally left, he gave me a free tour to SanVic Viewpoint (above Ningning, which is free, but SanVic costs 50 peso per head) and also showed me Port Barton- which is super touristy but since it was off-season it was quiet and nice. Having him as a local got me free parking, good food, and a local perspective to everywhere he took me.

I even got to go swim in a waterfall (entrance fee, I forgot how much but it wasn’t a lot) and he was able to talk to locals to ask if my car could make the road to the other spots. One moment I thought was cool and funny was when he asked me to immediately pull over because some lady was selling fresh corn on the side of the highway. It was delicious. Lol

I drove him back home- I didn’t have anywhere booked to sleep that night and was either gonna crash at Aussie couple with Manila girl’s hotel or at the surfer hippie’s hut in a hammock. Since we got back kind of late and I fell asleep while he made me dinner, I decided I guess I’ll sleep on the hammock that night.

After dinner, we had some Filipino gin (don’t worry, I did not get wasted this time), and he took me deeper into the ocean. The moon was covered by clouds and it was approaching a new moon so it was very dark. He took me further out where there was even less light pollution and I had the most incredible experience of my life. Everything I have been going through in Australia, all the pain, tears, everything I’ve ever went through in life was all worth it for this very moment. I looked down and couldn’t stop screaming, laughing, smiling, jumping up and down in the water, almost happy crying, as I swam in the bioluminescent water. If only my eyes could take pictures, or record a memory outside of my head so I can relive and rewatch over and over. It was the most incredible thing I’ve experienced- and fulfilling one of my life goals. I have been trying to chase bioluminescence for a while now (sometimes they are spotted in California where I’m from but I never catch it) and I’ve spent many nights hunting the beaches waiting in the cold to see it. Just to see it. But I got to SWIM in it…it was magnificent. Like a glowing aura as I moved. I know there’s many bioluminescent beaches in the world, but the timing and everything was just perfect- and it was unexpected. I fell in love with the beach and this moment (not the guy) and knew I would have to come back to experience it again.

He even offered to get the surfboard so I can surf the bioluminescence. But I was so sleepy from the drive and the alcohol at dinner, I wanted to go to sleep. My flight back to Manila was early at 8am and it was already like 2 or 3am. He offers me the bed instead of the hammock which I declined but he insisted so I was about to go to sleep when I remember that he wanted to tattoo me (He does traditional handpoke tattoos). I said ahh next time. And he said nah let’s do it right now it’ll be quick!

So instead of sleeping, we drunkenly come up with a questionable design and he tattoos my ankle. I thought it would end there but no. He insisted that I tattoo him too. I repeatedly tell him what a bad idea this is, that he shouldn’t trust me with that, and he’ll live with regret if he really does this but he refused. And so I learned how to hand-poke tattoo, and now he has a crooked smiley face (no head, just face) on his wrist. forever. LOL He wanted to tatoo waves on me to represent the bioluminescent water, but I didn’t want just waves, couldn’t decide between a sun and moon, so he said, “How about we put sunrays on the moon?” Now even a little tipsy I knew this was a dumb idea but hey man artist’s choice and now I have a shining moon over waves on my ankle and he has a smiley face with no head. LMAOOO

I said goodbye to him in the morning and made it to my flight back. What a trip!

That was my main adventure, but I had some …interesting… side quests too. Here’s how my itinerary went for the other parts of my trip.

Day 1 I booked a shipping container Airbnb in Manila for the night. Unfortunately it was not actually a shipping container, just the gate was made of shipping container walls. However, the rooms had AC, TV, electricity, clean, a shared kitchen and bathroom (very nice too) and it overall was a great Airbnb. I just really wanted to sleep in a shipping container lol.

I couldn’t check in early, so I decided to explore while carrying my heavy bags. It was hot as shit and I had to take many breaks. The first place I Grab (Uber equivalent) to is Manila Bay Sands Beach. At first I got lost and ended up at a government building and almost went in line to go in. Turned around and found the entrance to the damn beach. Police were everywhere and waiting to inspect my bags- where they tried to confiscate my croissant. You see, the thing was, I wanted to eat my croissant on the beach and enjoy the sound of waves and the touch of sand on my ass as I peacefully ate my stupid fucking croissant. But no food OR WATER is allowed on this empty beach with no umbrellas or trees. So I sat with the police and ate my croissant while trying to chat, but his English wasn’t good enough to carry conversation. I left my water bottle, walked down the empty beach where I’m not even allowed to swim, and then came back for my water bottle and decided to go somewhere with AC because I was about to pass out.

I saw a Starbucks from the beach and had to circle back to exit the beach with the police and then walk all the way back down the block to the Starbucks where I genuinely thought I might pass out and die.

Unfortunately, Starbucks these days don’t offer free wifi unless you buy something or ask (I think, I didn’t feel like asking though) so I just sat down heaving, exhausted and hot trying to cool down. Pretty sure the guy next to me was genuinely concerned lmao.

I finally cooled down to a bearable temperature and decided to go walk around a nice air conditioned mall and maybe lay down on a couch or something. Malls don’t have couches or placed to sit out here. The mall was only a 10 minute walk away, straight down the street like 2 blocks…but being a pedestrian in southeast Asia is terrifying and I soon regretted not taking a Grab over there. I made it there eventually, it wasn’t as bad as being a pedestrian in Vietnam but it was definitely scary trying to cross the street by myself.

When i entered the mall, security guards searched my bags before allowing me entry. Actually, every place you enter has guards checking. I got used to it. I walked around the mall looking for somewhere to sit since that 10 minute walk felt like 4 hour hike + pedestrian anxiety. But to no avail… they do not have sitting or lounging areas in the shopping malls here. So I walked…and walked…and walked…until I finally plopped down on a chair at the food court and once again had to cool down from carrying the weight of my enormous travel bag.

I wanted to have a sus at the Chinese and Japanese gardens in Rizal Park. Once again, not a far walk, but I learned my lesson and called a Grab. Some guy tried to sell me a trike tour for like 15 min before I finally fled and relaxed in the gardens. It was still hot as shit and I really just wanted to check in to my Airbnb and put my goddamn bag down. At this point, after chilling in the garden I take 45min Grab to my Airbnb, drop my bags off, walk to 7/11 to find out they only take cash, walk back to my Airbnb to get cash, walk back to 7/11, then walk back to my Airbnb to chill in my AC room and have a small bite to eat. I chill out for a bit, then take 45min Grab back to the same area I was in because I wanted to explore Chinatown and some cheap shopping malls. I only made it to 168 Mall and not the other ones, but had a good look at some cheap stores. I definitely wanted to come back when they’re open and I have more time.

I had a peaceful night in the Airbnb and then headed to the airport to fly to Palawan the next morning.

In Palawan, I spent one night at this nice Airbnb for $30USD for the night. It had an infinity pool overlooking a view, nestled in the mountains. I would definitely stay here again, driving there was easy and parking was easy and in front. The staff was super friendly and nice. The food was delicious (but they definitely catered to bland-eating tourists that probably aren’t Asian or usually eat Asian food packed with flavour- though it was still delicious even being less flavourful than how my titas, ates, and friends’ lolas make the same dishes) and they had cocktails too. I wish I had more time here, it was truly a perfect resort! I wish I was sponsored to stay here and promote them, but this is my genuine experience lol.

I knew 2000% I wanted to stay there and I would need a rental car to get there. Well they did offer to send a driver for me, but I really like having my own freedom and wanted to go to the beach and do other things.

I was too last minute to get a car available for different drop off location, but it is possible to get a rental car if you plan more in advance than I did (I booked mine the day before I arrived…lmao). I highly recommend Rey Car Rental, they are super lenient, friendly, and fast. They came to me, and I was able to drive off from the airport quickly. They’re also much cheaper than the other rental places. I had a great experience. Again, not sponsored but I had a really good experience with them. They gave me the car with only two bars of fuel, and he told me I only had to make sure there were at least 2 bars when I return it (other rental places require you to full tank it). Unfortunately, my dumb ass doesn’t know how to calculate how much fuel is 2 bars so I full tanked the car for him. You’re welcome, Rey Car Rental! LOL. I don’t mind, they were very nice and easy to talk to and rent from, so I’m happy to help them out and fill their car up. But I probably did not need to spend that much…

I originally wanted to drive all the way around the island but couldn’t find a last minute car that allowed me to do that. So I took a van, Fortwally to be exact, I have both good and bad (mostly bad) things to say about my experience with them. I highly don’t recommend taking a van if you are in a rush or have plans right when you arrive to wherever you take the van to. First of all their “schedule” is just a “loose idea”, I know Filipino time is a real thing but they really milked it. We left hours late, and I had planned to arrive and get my rental car up there so this was interrupting my plans and stressing me out since I knew the sun would set and I didn’t want to drive in the dark. The staff at the desk where you book is super kind and helpful, fun to talk to, very sweet, I really appreciate them. The driver however…really milked getting as many people in the van as possible. I was so squished like a sardine I was uncomfortable and had trouble sleeping (I usually sleep in vans and buses because I get carsick.) I read online on other blogs that sometimes if they don’t have anyone else to pick up, you may have the van to yourself. Foolish of me to hope that’d be the case for me. The driver even went back and forth the same places with the same girl dropping her off back and forth and I’m like when the hell are we gonna get moving??

The drive was absolutely awful, -10/10. Would not recommend. I was miserable. Money from my purse was stolen, a couple other things fell out that I ended up losing, we only had one potty break where I went down to a beach and drank mango juice. The driver asks me where my resort is and then tells me it’s too far and I have to pay another 1000 pesos. The 5 hour ride there cost me 700. It would cost me more than the entire van ride to go 20 minutes to the airport to get my car rental. I understood that it was out of the way for him and he would have to drive me there and back which tacks on like 40 minutes…but come on man…that’s a ridiculous price. So I get off at the bus stop and get a tuktuk.

The driver actually found me the tuktuk I didn’t even get a chance to ask for myself but I was so bothered, annoyed, and had such a miserable time I just wanted to get out of the damn van so I’m pretty sure the tuktuk also overcharged me, at 500 pesos. I was gonna haggle to max 300 pesos (which the hippie told me is a more reasonable price, 200-300 shouldve been the price) but I was too stressed and angry from the awful ride I just took it. The tuktuk driver himself, was very nice, friendly, and cool. I highly recommend him if you end up in El Nido, his whatsapp number is on my photos/ videos of me on the tuktuk. I think if you bargained with him your price, he’d be more lenient, but since it was the driver I think he just upsold me because I am clearly a tourist. I was too angry to haggle anyway.

I had a great time after leaving the van. My trip comes to an end in Palawan and I go back to Manila for one day because I booked the wrong day for my flight (lol). On my last day, I realise I don’t even have a place to sleep that night so I book a cheap Airbnb in Makati since my friend recommended I go bar hopping in Makati.

The hotel ended up being kind of weird, it was clean and got the job done and whatever, but it was connected to a nightclub and a lot of really trashy looking people were going in and out of it. I was like oh… it’s that kind of hotel… and when I checked in they had a security deposit (normal) and said if they find any stains of any kind on the sheets, blankets, or towels, I would be charged. Girl what do you think I’m doing in there LOL I just want to sleep! Valid though I guess…hahaha

I was pretty exhausted from Palawan and honestly just faceplanted and fell asleep on the bed as soon as I got my room. They didn’t have early check-in since no rooms were available, but they let me store my bag behind the desk. So I walked to a nearby Jollibee but ended up having a 20 minute wait so I left and walked to a local mall for air conditioning. I explored the greenways and then walked to a local food stall market, and a pet market, and then another mall. Then decided I wanted to go back to that cheap mall that was like 45min away. I was able to check in an hour early and then called a Grab to explore the other cheap malls and markets in Divisoria. I also went to the Tatuban Night Market and fresh fruit juice. I bought a few things, but nothing too crazy. Afterwards I went to a 2 story Jollibee and ate my chickenjoy. Fortunately we have really authentic and good Jollibee in California, so I’m a bit spoiled. Jollibee in the Philippines tasted exactly the same- just as good and delicious as California. But not surpassing. It wad delicious and cheap, but yeah it tasted the same in California. It’s absolutely awful in Vietnam though of all places, don’t get Jollibee in Vietnam they don’t even have gravy lol.

I was pooped after stuffing myself with Chickenjoy and Grabbed back to my strange hotel. I debated on going to the club inside the hotel. And debated going to some bars in Makati. My friends’ and my prediction of me getting kidnapped in the Philippines didn’t happen, but I thought if it does, it would be that night. So I was unsure if I should go out by myself. I went back to my questionable hotel and knocked out- waking up at like 2am and most bars were closed. I didn’t bother going to the club and just went back to sleep.

The next day I made it to my flight back to AU where I realised Cebu Pacific kind of sucks. Actually I realised it on the way TO the Philippines but I had already booked roundtrip back. The flight was delayed hours while we all sat on the plane wondering what’s going on and I ended up chatting it up with the people in my row. We are all friends now and grabbed a drink the next day after we landed. Even saved money on a taxi since the girl I made friends with paid for it. Saved both me and the other guy on the plane from spending over $100AUD on ubers to get home.

It truly was an adventure from beginning to end, and this is exactly what I live for. Til next time Philippines! I had a great time and will for sure be back!

One thing I noticed and loved about the Philippines is that the culture is so unique, like southeast asia kind of feels the same everywhere but it was unique in the Philippines. Although they have grown and modernised in certain places, it is still very much traditional and seeing people riding jimneys, tuktuks everywhere (I’m used to seeing Gojeks and motorbikes) and in the countryside seeing people sitting atop huge trucks filled to the brim with stuff. It all seemed so different and unique compared to other countries I’ve been to in Southeast Asia. I really had such a fun time experiencing and seeing the culture and daily lives of people out here.